chinese women

The Secrets of Modern Chinese Women

All About Chinese Women

Chinese women: stereotypes—change for the good?

Chinese women have been portrayed in a similar manner throughout most of recent history.

Close your eyes for a few moments… what comes to mind when you think about women from Asia? Well, amongst other words, I am sure you probably thought about words such as: demure, feminine, passive, submissive, subservient… right?

You may be surprised but, slowly…, little by little, things are changing: Chinese women are now becoming more liberated and better educated than ever before.

Traditional roles of Chinese females in society

Throughout history, Chinese women have been a contradiction.

Their generally soft, demure exteriors belie great inner strength, tolerance and perseverance.

Yet, in a rigid societal structure, Chinese females have typically been seen as second best; witness the almost overbearing desire of most families wishing for a first-born son (especially in an era of only one child per couple being allowed), and the birth of daughter was often greeted with dismay and disappointment.

Chinese girls were brought up to be subservient, passive; their pre-ordained roles to be a good mother, a good housekeeper and lover for their man—and many times married not with a man of their choosing. Arranged marriages were (and sometimes even now still are) the norm and the bride-to-be was expected to go along with the path chosen for her. Males were in the ascendancy and the typical Chinese woman might even have to forgo her birth right inheritance, despite being first born; or, even worse, accept that her husband would have a minor wife (or two) or, for the richer man, several concubines.

For those Chinese women lucky enough to escape an arranged marriage, the next obstacle always was (and still is) to be able to get along with and please her mother-in-law—a major task, and most non-Asian females would have difficulty in appreciating just how hard this can be.

Typical attitudes of Chinese women to dating, marriage and careers

In Chinese culture, a successful marriage is believed to be of major importance both to the families involved and to society as well. According to Confucian thought, it is considered as being important for the cultivation of virtue.

Naturally then, from an early age, Chinese females are taught that piety and filial duties are paramount and that their actions, both in the dating and marital stages, should always reflect well on the family; there is no question of bringing shame or disrepute to their family names.

Until relative recently, most Chinese women, even if they were not forced into an arranged marriage would be content to be guided by the family when looking for a suitable husband. Certain types of men were a “no-no” (including foreign men!) and the stereotypical husband needed to be from a good family, with a good job (a professional such as doctor, lawyer accountant highly preferred), able to support his new wife throughout their marriage and, most of all, able to get along with the mother-in-law and the rest of the husband’s family.

As a result of such societal pressure and, partly owing to the scarcity of such pious, upstanding professional men, Chinese women were encouraged to marry (and breed) relatively early, certainly before the ages 25-26.

Clearly this was at the expense of their education and career choices and generations of Chinese women (of course with some significant exceptions) were denied the right to develop themselves into the astute, career driven business women many of them, over the last 20 years or so, have proved to be.

Many more Chinese females are studying for degrees; choosing to stay single longer

Accompanying the advances and changes in technology and communications over the last 25-30 years or so and, more recently, the ready availability of visas to travel outside of China etc, the trickle of Chinese women studying overseas has become a torrent. The opening up on-line, for example, of greater awareness of careers and how socially liberated many other countries are towards the education of women, has meant Chinese women have begun taken full advantage. Generally academically gifted and studious, most modern Chinese females have an innate desire to do well for both themselves and their families

Even within the country, many Chinese women have become reluctant to get involved in serious relationships too young and delayed getting married early, preferring to get a Masters degree, or even a PhD, before finding a man and settling down to family life.

Sadly, this has provoked a backlash from some quarters, and the origin of some such criticism has been particular surprising—namely from some local and regional entities, including the All-China Women’s Federation which was, originally, set up in 1949 to look after the interests of Chinese women. Over the last six or seven years and through a series of commentaries and articles, the very organisation which is supposed to be supporting Chinese females has been decrying their efforts for a better life, better education and better career prospects—mainly by a series of articles by referring to any female over the age of 27 as “leftover women”; woman who don’t prefer not to find a husband whilst they are still studying or are in the early stages of building a career.

In short, it’s the Chinese woman’s fault for refusing to get married before 27, and once she is married, it’s the woman’s fault if her husband has an affair because she is too concerned with her career and own life.

For such leftover women, a case of damned if you do, and damned if you don’t if ever I’ve heard one.

Stereotypical views of Chinese girls are slowly changing

Of course, emigration by Chinese people has existed for centuries but, in countries such as the US or UK where many Chinese women are already second or third generation immigrants, they seamlessly blend into society; marrying men from their new countries and raising families.

However, many Chinese women overseas are still largely invisible when it comes to being involved in politics, or holding senior positions in major companies or in popular culture such as in the cinema or on TV. Those that do appear are, unfortunately, still type cast as either hard-nosed business woman taking no prisoners, the “dragon mother” or a demure, timid wallflower.

Known to generally do well academically and professionally in careers such as medicine, law or accountancy, the new internet generation of Chinese women is becoming more and more visible and is beginning to noticeably break down the barriers to career progression. The idea of the “passive” Chinese woman is a well-known, but increasingly misguided view—particularly given the female population’s achievements in education.

Chinese women are in high demand from overseas men as wives and spouses

More and more foreigners are coming into contact with Chinese women who still live in China and there is growing recognition of the value of dating a Chinese woman and maybe even taking a Chinese wife; their previously recognised qualities of loyalty, strength and relative passiveness are being added to by many of such women now having an excellent education with a Bachelors or Master’s Degree and, probably, a successful career.

Many Chinese women know absolutely what they want and, with more liberal attitudes to dating and marrying foreigners, more and more mixed race marriages are apparent, both within Asia and between and second or third generation Chinese women in the US, Australia or so on.

So noticeable that the expression “Yellow Fever” has been coined to describe the desires of Caucasian or foreign men who prefer to date and are looking to marry Asian women. Quite simply modern, foreign men can’t seem to get enough of Chinese or other Asian women, and you only have to look around any major Chinese city such as Beijing or Shanghai where it seems there is an abundance of mixed race relationships between smart, well educated Chinese women and western males.

Definitely not a new phenomenon, but one that will surely continue to grow as liberated Chinese women reach out to greater heights!

Date Asian Women

After the First Date With an Asian Woman

Assuming the first date went wonderfully, you will be all set to ask her for a second
date. If she were a Caucasian woman it might be a power struggle as in “who makes the
first move?” or “who calls who first.”

With an Asian woman it is very clear. The man always makes the first phone call.
Traditionally, it is thought that men should initiate the first call, as it is somehow
unseemly for women to make such a brash move. Most women are apprehensive about
picking up the phone in the early stages of a relationship, because they don’t want to give
the impression that they are too eager or too desperate.

Asian women don’t “chase men” so put your North American ego behind you. Like
American woman they won’t call because they fear a rejection from you as well. They
also fear that if they do call, another woman that you are dating may pick up the phone.
Before you make that call, the stellar thing to do is to send her an email or note
telling her what a good time you had. If the feeling is mutual this will greatly cheer her

Whether you are planning to see her again or not the worst thing you can do to an
Asian woman is not call her at all. She will fret about it. Chances are if you do have to call
her to say that you don’t think it will work out, she will not be offended or get emotional.
She will simply commend you for your honesty.

The best thing to do is to send the note, wait a day and then call her. This
establishes a kind of formality and courtesy in the relationship that is not over familiar.
Also making her wait that one day makes her want that second date even more.
Timing and tact is definitely of the essence. For instance it is not a good idea to call
the date at work. It is also not a good idea to send presents or flowers or immediately.
Without the personal contact, these kinds of gifts start to feel like stalking to the other

When on the phone, show a moderate amount of enthusiasm for the events of the
previous night. Startling remarks such as “I am glad I have finally found the love of my
life!” might scare your potential partner away.. At this stage of the game, “togetherness”
is merely an idea you are entertaining rather than adopting as a plan for your future.
If your date went really badly she might not call you back if you have to leave a
message. She might simply be frightened of your disapproval. Never leave more than
two messages or her and her entire family will think you are stalking her. Also never,
ever express rage or disappointment if she decides she does not want to see you.

Make sure you perceive the first date for what it is, and not as a golden path that
should have led to holy matrimony. Keep it in perspective! Most first dates are really just
an experiment to see if a relationship is even possible.

First date Asian woman

The Ideal First Date With An Asian Woman

When your Asian friend first agrees to have a date with you your mind might start hopping and coming up with all kinds of ideas of what you could do to impress her. This is not the occasion to suggest a helicopter ride over the city or a tanning session near the beach. The key to the success of any first date with an Asian woman, especially with Chinese women,  boils down to three elements:

  • A gift
  • An expensive dinner in a fine restaurant
  • A walk in a garden

The reason you don’t want to take her to the movies or a comedy club is because it is too distracting. It looks like you are not “man enough” to look her in the eye and talk to her. She will want to see if you can break the ice on your own.

Also keep in mind that Asian people are not as embarrassed by long silences and pauses in conversation as Europeans or Americans are. It simply means you are thinking about or analyzing the content of what you want to say next.

When it comes to the gift, the best thing to bring her is flowers. You can also bring chocolates but many Asian women don’t like chocolates that much because it causes
acne (and Asian skin can be prone to acne.) Another nice gift would be an expensive tin of Black Oolong tea.

When it comes to the restaurant, try to stay away from going to a restaurant that is part of her culture (unless she is homesick and requests it.) This is because no American restaurant is going to make food that is as comforting and tasty to her as the food she has at home. A good choice would be a fine French restaurant that serves food that is not too offbeat. She will particularly enjoy this if she is Japanese, Malaysian or Vietnamese. It is also hard to go wrong at an excellent seafood restaurant.

Some Asians are vegetarians. If this is true of your date, take the trouble to find out what kind of vegetarian she is and then find a restaurant that fits the bill. In this case she may prefer Indian or Italian food.

Try to choose a restaurant that is located near a waterfront or park. This should be anywhere that the two of you can take a pleasant stroll and enjoy the night air afterwards. If there are botanical or public gardens that are open that is all the better. Walking with a man in a garden is the height of romance for an Asian woman.

Dating Asian Women

What Turns an Asian Woman On?

As a summary of all you have learned right now here is a short list of everything that you can do to turn an Asian woman on:

  • Be polite
  • Be humble
  • Be clean
  • Be stylish
  • Wear aftershave
  • Pronounce and write her name correctly
  • Be well educated (or at least well informed)
  • Respect her wishes
  • Respect her family
  • Respect the fact she doesn’t drink
  • Respect the fact she doesn’t smoke
  • Respect her eating habits
  • Compliment her
  • Know a bit about her culture
  • Pronounce her name right
  • Show up in a car
  • Always bring flowers
  • Give her a gift
  • Spend money on her
  • Tip generously
  • Return all emails and phone calls promptly
  • Talk about her and not about yourself
  • Don’t kiss her in public but be passionate with her in private
  • Tell her she is the only one
  • Tell her you want to build a future with her
  • Be honest with her

If you wish to learn more about how to pickup beautiful Asian women, we recommend checking our resources page for links to awesome resources like MY NEW CHINESE WIFE and Asian Kisses. View our resources page here.

trip to asia

Best Countries to Meet Asian Women

This is a section in which the obvious must be stated. If you want to meet Asian women, take a trip to Asia. However Asia is a huge place with many different regions. It also embraces Russia which is not necessarily the place to find Asian women as they are perceived in the traditional sense.

The best areas to find Asian women are in geographic East Asia, and mainland
Southeast Asia that consists of Indochina and the Malay Archipelago. It is also likely
that any immigrant, Asian-American or woman that you meet online is from one of these

The following countries are located in geographic East Asia:

  • The People’s Republic of China, except for the province of Qinghai and the autonomous regions of Xinjiang and Tibet, which may also be considered to be located in Central Asia
  • Republic of China (Taiwan)
  • Japan
  • North Korea
  • South Korea

Southeast Asia lies on the intersection of geological plates, with heavy seismic and
volcanic activity. Island arcs and archipelagoes lie southeast and also east of the Asian
mainland. Southeast Asia is geographically divided into two regions, namely Indochina
and the Malay Archipelago. Indochina includes all of :

  • Mount KinabaluMyanmar (formerly Burma)
  • Thailand (formerly Siam)
  • Cambodia
  • Lao PDR (Laos)
  • Vietnam

The Malay Archipelago (or maritime Southeast Asia consists of:

  • Malaysia
  • Singapore
  • Brunei
  • Indonesia
  • East Timor
  • Philippines

South Asia is often synonymous with the Indian subcontinent, and includes the
following neighboring states:

  • India, Pakistan and Bangladesh; constituting the bulk of the subcontinent proper
  • Himalayan States: Nepal and Bhutan
  • Indian Ocean Island Nations – Sri Lanka, the Maldives
Find Asian girls

Top 10 American Cities to Find Asian Women

The U.S. 2000 census recorded 10.2 million people who reported themselves as being specifically Asian. The largest ethnic subgroups were Chinese (2.4 million), Filipinos (1.9M), Asian Indians (1.6M), Vietnamese (1.1M), Koreans (1.1M), and Japanese (0.8M).

Other sizable groups in the United States are Cambodians (172,000), Hmong (169,000), Laotians (169,000), Pakistanis (153,000), and Thais (112,000).

However don’t try and find your perfect Asian girl on a farm! The Asian American population tends to settle in big metropolitan areas, with nearly three-quarters of Asian Americans living in cities that have a population greater than 2.5 million. Asian Americans are concentrated in the largest U.S. cities, with 40% of all Asian Americans living in the metropolitan areas around Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York City. Half of all Asian Americans (5.4M) live in Hawaii or the West Coast (mostly in California (4.2M)) However, recently, strong populations of Asians are also settling in the New York
City, Washington, D.C./Baltimore, Chicago, Seattle, and Houston metropolitan areas.

Here is a breakdown of the top ten places in America to find Asian women.

1. Honolulu, Hawaii -46% of the population is Asian
2. San Francisco California (mostly in Oakland and San Hose) -18.4 % are Asian
3. Los Angeles California (mostly in Riverside and Orange Counties - 10.4% are Asian
4. Sacramento California – 9.4% are Asian
5. San Diego California – 8.9% are Asian
6. Seattle, Washington (Tacoma and Bremerton areas) -7.9% are Asian
7. New York (mostly in New Jersey and Long Island) – 6.8% are Asian
8. Washington and Baltimore area – 5.3% Asian
9. Houston (Sugarland and Baytown) – 4.9 % Asian
10. Las Vegas, Nevada – 4.7% Asian

Find Asian girls

Where to Find Asian Women

In this multicultural society you don’t have to go far to meet an Asian woman. Here is a break down of some of the most common places you can find them right in your neighborhood.

Art galleries – Scan the newspapers for announcements about art shows that feature an
Asian artist and make sure you show up at the opening. Having some familiarity with
Asian art beforehand is a good idea so if you do meet someone you have something to

Asian supermarkets – Helping an Asian woman struggling with her bags might be a
good way to introduce yourself. Another way is to be dumbfounded by Asian recipe
ingredients. Ask her for help on translating the meaning of ingredients on an Asian

Asian temples or churches – Many Asian women are Christian so you could attend
church in a neighborhood in your city that is heavily populated by Orientals. You could
also attend a service at a Buddhist temple. Like many churches these organizations also
hold dances and socials.

Asian night clubs – This is a little riskier as many of these clubs in highly populated
areas are run by gangs that don’t like Caucasians too much. Check out the reputation of
the club before you decide to step through its doors.

Auto shows – Japanese women are into big flashy cars so you are likely to find them
admiring the goods at car shows.

Bank of Hong Kong – The Bank of Hong Kong has branches in just about every city in
North America. If you stand in line to open an account you are likely to meet a Chinese
girl sooner or later.

Baseball games – Baseball is the favorite sport of Japan. Japanese women young and old
like to attend these types of sports events in America.

Bookstores – Japanese women like to read and they especially like poetry. You are likely
to find both Chinese and Japanese women in the computer or business section of any
bookstore. One conversation opener is to ask them for help with a how to guide of some

Business Conventions - Most Asian women are hard working, acute businesswomen. You
will find scores of them hanging around at business conventions looking for ways to
network and further their careers.

Casinos – The Chinese people are fervent gamblers. They especially love poker and the
Roulette Wheel. After playing a few hands yourself may find you seated next to an
attractive Chinese woman. If you that is the case, make sure you know how to find the right words to woo her.  The internet is full of site like MY NEW CHINESE WIFE, which focus on the topic of only Chinese women.

Camera Shows – Asian women love any digital or video products. This allows them to
document their families and proudly show off their recordings and pictures in the most
efficient way possible.

Chinese Cultural Events and Festivals – Check the newspaper for news about special
events and celebrations. The Chinese New Year is usually celebrated with a street festival
in your local China Town.

Computer Show – Most Asian women are always on the lookout for a bigger and better
program that will help them multi-task more than usual. Talking computer talk is a great
conversation opener.

Chinatown – We hate to state the obvious but if you want to meet a Chinese woman try
sitting in a teashop or strolling the sidewalks of Chinatown.

Colleges and Universities — Most Asian women are brilliant students. You can find them
in hordes studying in all disciplines at all levels at your local college or university.

Fashion District – Many lower income Asian Americans work in the garment industry. If
you live in a large metropolitan area with a fashion or “garment” district then you are
likely to meet many Asian immigrant women who will be working there for low wages.

Florists – Many Asian families run florist shops and nurseries. This is because plants and
gardening is so important in both Japanese and Chinese cultures. A good place to start
might be in a store that specializes in selling Bonsai or water fountains.

Health Food Stores – As Asians are big believers in preventive medicine and holistic
health you are likely to find them shopping in health food stores for herbs, medicines
and specialty foods like tofu.

Ikea – Ikea is a favorite store in Japan and it is equally loved by Asian Americans. Asians
who love to keep everything in its place frequent any store that offers organizational

International airports – Hanging around flights coming in and out of countries from East
and South East Asia might lead you to the love of your life.

Jewelry stores – Asian women love jewelry. You are likely to find them browsing in stores
that sell expensive gold, ruby or pearl adornments.

Karaoke – A true Karaoke club is where you are likely to find quite a few Asian women.
Many of them attend these events looking for a singer who will strike a chord to their

Koi Shops – Stores that sell specialty goldfish or koi for garden ponds might be the place
to meet a nice Asian girl.

Libraries – Asian women like to read. Many of them are quite thrifty and prefer to take
books out of the library rather than buy them.

Malls – If you are in a high-end mall that sells designer label clothing then you are in the
“Asian woman zone.”

Manicurist — Many Asian women work as manicurists. Book yourself an appointment for
a pedicure or manicure at a salon with an Asian sounding name.

Museums –- If the local museum is having an art show that specializes in the history or
arts or crafts of Japan, China or Thailand, this makes for a good opportunity to meet
Asian women.

Orchestras –- Many of the top violinists, piano players and cello players in the world are
Asian women. Attending performances of opera or an orchestra might lead you to the
women you are looking for.

Trade shows – Many Asian women are in the export/import business. They are often
found at trade shows looking for new products.

Teashops or Teahouse – Asian women are connoisseurs when it comes to tea and for
many it is their beverage of choice.

Universities – The proportion of Asian Americans at many selective educational
institutions far exceeds the 3% national population rate. For example, several University
of California campuses now count over 50% of their student population as being Asian
American. Places of higher education are definitely sites where most of the beautiful,
ambitious and smart Asian women hang out.